Time & Other Thieves: The Group

In this promotional-type bonus episode, I describe the new group I'm starting in late July, which I hope you'll consider joining! There will be two separate cohorts of Time & Other Thieves: A Discussion, Meditation, and Interpersonal Process Group. One group will meet on the last Tuesday of the month from 2:00 to 3:30 PM Eastern Standard Time, and the other on the last Wednesday of the month from 6:00 to 7:30 PM. In each Zoom meeting we'll explore a different book and its corresponding podcast episode. But the primary focus will be the here-and-now emotional, interpersonal experience of participants, with an open invitation to put thoughts and feelings into words as they arise, toward other members. Email me at sarahbsimpson@protonmail.com for more info!

Transcript

Hi there, this is Sarah B, host of Time & Other Thieves. This is not an official episode of the podcast, but more of a promotional thing, which I've never done before. But I really want to tell you about the new group I'm starting, which is open to anyone, anywhere, thanks to it happening on Zoom.

Time & Other Thieves: A Discussion, Meditation, and Interpersonal Process Group will start in late July. There will be two separate cohorts, with one group meeting on the last Tuesday of the month from 2:00 to 3:30 PM Eastern Standard Time, and the other meeting on the last Wednesday of the month from 6:00 to 7:30 PM. 

If you've been listening to this program for a while, you are aware that I am obsessed with process groups, both being a member and a leader of them. I currently run two in-person groups that meet weekly in Asheville and I co-facilitate a third one with my friend Chris that is for therapists only. In all of these groups, the primary invitation is to put feelings into words as those feelings are happening, preferably toward another person. I like to think of group as an interpersonal meditation. It's here-and-now focus provides countless opportunities for self-exploration and deeper connection with others. 

I've talked about group at varying lengths in the past several episodes of this show, but especially in the ones titled “The Group Therapy Experience” and “Saying the Unsaid.” The former focuses on a book by Louis Ormont, a leader in the group psychotherapy field, and the latter is an interview with two of my colleagues who run groups together. Please check those episodes out to learn more about this fascinating, ever stimulating approach to strengthening one’s capacity to sit with uncomfortable emotions and get curious about them with others. But since you're already listening to this, I can answer some frequently asked questions that people pose about the work I do. 

One: Is there a focus to these groups? Like do people all have the same kind of problem they're working on? The answer is no, although I guess one “problem” that group members tend to have in common is a deeply ingrained resistance to saying how they really feel in the moment. But that could be said of most humans. So there is not a focus per se. It's open to whatever people want to talk about. They're all invited to tell the emotionally significant story of their lives over time and to voice their troubles, complaints, and dreams. When the focus veers too much “out of the room,” as they say, my job as the leader is to bring group members’ attention back to what's happening in the here-and-now amongst members. I am always looking for ways to turn content into process. 

Frequently asked question #2: How does each group session start? It starts by me saying, “We are in session.” More recently I've taken to ringing a bell three times after lighting three candles. After that, I just wait to see who talks first. If no one talks for a minute or so, I'll say something about the silence. “We're playing with silence today,” or “What is this silence saying?” Or maybe, “So much not being said already!” With young groups who have only met a few times, I will start by asking them if there's any residual feelings or thoughts from the last session, but after a while they understand that this invitation is always there. 

The third FAQ I’ll mention actually isn't even a question but an exclamation: That sounds terrifying! To which I usually respond, “Then you should definitely do it.” If the thought of people saying how they really feel toward each other in the moment is terrifying to you, then you will likely benefit more from group than someone who is merely intrigued by the idea. You will feel more alive and humbled by the experience. And you will hopefully learn that while it can be scary, the potential for beauty and connection is endless. People are endless. By which I mean infinite in their complexity, their capacity to love, to hate, to learn, and to evolve. 

But back to Time & Other Thieves: The Group! The original seed for this idea was a free lecture I recently gave on Zoom titled “Group as Spiritual Practice.” I enjoyed giving this lecture so much that I offered it twice, and after each offering I found myself wishing that I could meet with each group of people on a regular basis to discuss ideas and invite any feelings that came up to be verbalized. As I continued to ponder this desire, I eventually realized that my podcast was the perfect vehicle, if you will, for inspiring further discussion and connection.

This group will differ from traditional interpersonal process groups in a few ways. First of all, it will only meet once a month, when most groups meet weekly. Second of all, it will begin with a 10-minute silent meditation. Third of all, it will incorporate elements of a book club, with each meeting “focusing” on a different book and its corresponding podcast episode. I put the word “focus” in quotes because the real focus of each session will be, as mentioned, the emotional experience of group members in the here-and-now. The ideas from the book/podcast will just be springboards for deeper interpersonal exploration. Which inevitably must also be an intrapersonal exploration. 

I have a list of 20 books and episodes to start with, which will undoubtedly grow over time. Here is that list.

1.     Awareness: The Perils and Opportunities of Reality (Anthony de Mello)
2.     Summerhill: A Radical Approach to Child Rearing (A.S. Neill)
3.     The Art of Loving (Erich Fromm)
4.     Meditations (Marcus Aurelius)
5.     Book of Divine Consolation (Meister Eckhart)
6.     The Awakening of Intelligence (J. Krishnamurti)
7.     Meditation in Action (Chogyam Trungpa)
8.     Addiction to Perfection (Marion Woodman)
9.     The Seeking Heart (Francois Fenelon)
10.  Civilization and Its Discontents (Sigmund Freud)
11.  How to Cook Your Life: From the Zen Kitchen to Enlightenment (Kosho Uchiyama)
12.  The Divine Milieu (Pierre Teilhard de Chardin)
13.  Be Here Now (Ram Dass)
14.  No Recipe: Cooking as Spiritual Practrice (Edward Espe Brown)
15.  Who Dies? (Stephen Levine)
16.  On Becoming a Person (Carl Rogers)
17.  The Group Therapy Experience (Louis Ormont)
18.  The Way of Chuang Tzu (Thomas Merton)
19.  I and Thou (Martin Buber)
20.  Jesus and the Disinherited (Howard Thurman)

Since the Time & Other Thieves group will only meet monthly, this list will provide almost two years’ worth of discussion material. And it might be that we end up taking more than one meeting to discuss a given book/episode.

Also: if you know you simply don’t have the time to read a book or even part of a book each month, fear not! If you can’t read a given book, that’s what the podcast episode is for. You can just listen to that. And even if you don’t do that, you can still come to group and be present with what is and put words to that experience.

Thanks for listening to all of this! I hope you’re feeling a desire to learn more about this unique opportunity to become more of yourself while in connection with others. For details and next steps, please e-mail me at sarahbsimpson@protonmail.com. I'd love to set up a Zoom call to answer any questions you may have about Time and Other Thieves: The Group!